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Today’s


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Live. Laugh. Vomit.

Alright, we’ve all seen them. You know who they are. They’re those women who slap “Live. Laugh. Love.” all over their Facebook pages. When you have the grievous misfortune of entering their homes, it’s stenciled in paint over the header of a doorway or on alternating steps going into the basement. It’s disingenuous tripe and it angers me when I see it. I get physically ill—my gut bound in hateful knots—when conftronted with those three insidious words. It truly is an assault on my psyche; a vicious attack on my serenity. In short, it fills me with hate.

But it’s not limited to “Live. Laugh. Love.” For that was just the precurser; the spark that set these seemingly sentimental rubes aflame with an insincere passion for life and meaning. These bumper sticker romantics attempting to gain meaning and self-worth by pasting phony, empty twaddle for all to see. It’s simply an empty attempt to advertise how wonderfully caring and insightful they are. “Look at me, aren’t I so creative and sentimental?” And like I said, there are many more. Too many, in fact. One is too many. Here are just a few of those threadbare gems:

We cannot do great things. We can only do little things with great love.

Give me a flippin’ break. We cannot do great things? Didn’t Patton do great things when he commanded the Third Army and smashed the German flank during the Battle of the Bulge? No doubt achieved by Patton with great love, but it hardly qualifies as a “little thing.” The sentimental fools who spew this nonsense only attempt to lower the bar and marginalize effort and achievement. Speaking of Patton, here’s one of his quotes—a quote which is decidedly above the drivel of the “Live. Laugh. Love.” crowd;

“A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood.”

Now, doesn’t that just pull at your heartstrings? I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Here’s an extended version of the original:

Live your life at it fullest
Laugh at all the things that don’t matter
Love with all that you have and more

What? Really? All this achieves is to take pithy worthlessness and enrich it with even greater quantities of manure. Speaking of manure, here’s some more equine excrement:

Love me without fear.
Trust me without wondering.
Love me without restrictions.
Want me without demand and
accept me for who I am.

Alright, I’m done torturing you. Frankly, it’s difficult for me to even cut and paste this prattle here.

So, what the hell are they trying to say anyway? After all, when they paste the “Live. Laugh. Love.” tripe for all of us to see and to experience intense gastric distress, isn’t what they’re really telling us to do a little redundant with common sense and everyday reality? It’s like stenciling “Take a Crap” above your mantle. Honestly, we all know and we all do, so don’t shove it down our throats. I live angrily; I laugh at people at Wal-Mart; and I love beer. So, why are you telling me this? Pointless. I suppose that, however, sums up your existence.

Comments

Comment from Patrick Carroll
Time April 5, 2011 at 3:32 pm

I like the anger here!

Comment from angrymanchronicles
Time April 5, 2011 at 4:26 pm

It’s the little things that really set me off.

Comment from Patrick Carroll
Time April 26, 2011 at 5:05 am

You and me both!